“The story of how I left Huckleberry begins -- as do all worthy stories -- with a goat”

“I do not mind when you tell me what you want and put that first instead of last.”

“The Scooby gang doesn’t travel because they are looking for crimes to solve. They travel because they’re one step ahead of the deprogrammers. Somehow, Fred’s got them all snookered. It probably has something to do with the Scooby Snacks.”

“For as much as I hate the cemetery, I’ve been grateful it’s here, too. I miss my wife. It’s easier to miss her at a cemetery, where she’s never been anything but dead, than to miss her in all the places where she was alive.”

“Guns don’t kill people. The aliens behind the triggers do.”

“The problem with aging is not that it's one damn thing after another—it's every damn thing, all at once, all the time.”

“But define 'completely ridiculous shit,'" Duvall said. "Does space travel count? Contact with alien races? Does quantum physics count? Because I don't understand that crap at all. As far as I'm concerned, quantum physics could have been written by a hack.”