“Should've known when I met her mama. The big, fat acorn didn't fall too far from the big, fat tree.”

“Even a desert hare will take a finger off the dumbass that tries to pet it. If the desert can make a bunny that angry, imagine what it does to the people.”

“Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.”

“She nestled me in her arms, keeping me safe, smoothing my black curls with her caress, whispering how beautiful I was getting. The thing that cracked when she died was mended, and we were fine and whole again. And because we were fine and whole, I was safe. She would tell me the old stories, but I could never remember them later except for this ending from my favorite one: The wind blew wild and the wind blew free, but the bear cub was safe in the mouth of the mama-mama bear. That's the way I felt when Mama held me - safe in the mouth of the mama-mama bear. If I had trouble sleeping at night, I remembered the feel of the story - safe in the mouth - and I felt my mother in her pretty yellow dress, and the yellow rose pinned in her dark hair, and her arms around me. Then I could relax and know I was fine. So even though I knew Mama died, I also knew in a way I never tried to explain to anybody that she didn't die, that she couldn't have, not completely, since she came to me with those moonbeam visits. (5)”

“If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.”

“Tip: To avoid bruising the basil, Mama tore the leaves into pieces with her fingers. Chopping is fine, but you won't have basil-scented fingers.”

“[on buying a private island] Money doesn't buy you happiness, but it buys you a big enough yacht to sail right up to it.”