“Rick said, "Is there some place we can go and talk?""You want to talk?," Keir raised an eyebrow. "I never thought I'd see the day.""Nah, I want to tell you this joke I heard."Keir nodded, patient. "Shoot.""Two Irish cops walk into a bar. The first cop says..." Rick's voice dropped. He said gruffly, "I love you. Come home."Keir managed to keep his voice steady. "What's the other cop say?"The sweetness of Rick's smile was like a kick in his chest. "That's what I'm here to find out, boyo.”

“The cop wanted to know what was in the bag. I said, Another cop.”

“I get it,' said the prisoner. 'Good Cop, Bad Cop, eh?'If you like.' said Vimes. 'But we're a bit short staffed here, so if I give you a cigarette would you mind kicking yourself in the teeth?”

“His arms went around my waist. "I been meanin' to tell you, Zach-I want a raise. And that's not a sexual innuendo.""I'll see what I can do."His lips brushed min, and he smiled. "I lied.""You don't want a raise?""It was a sexual innuendo.""I think I love you." The words were out of m mouth before I knew I was going to say them. I wanted to take them back immediately. If talking about moving in together sent him into a full blown panic attack, there was no telling what the L-word was going to do to him. He froze, just for a second, and I braced for the worst, but he just smiled and simply said, "I know.”

“Owen," Henry said excitedly, "I think Coach wants you to hit for Meccini."Owen closed The Voyage of the Beagle, on which he had recently embarked. "Really?""Runners on first and second," Rick said. "I bet he wants you to bunt.""What's the bunt sign?""Two tugs on the left earlobe," Henry told him. "But first he has to give the indicator, which is squeeze the belt. But if he goes to his cap with either hand or says your first name, that's the wipe-off, and then you have to wait and see whether--""Forget it," Owen said. "I'll just bunt.”

“Do you watch Cops on TV?”“I love Cops,” he said. “It’s like my life, but with the boring parts taken out.”