“Daddy was overcome by the charm of this scene. "They're just so amazing at that age. So innocent. So ... pure. As pure as the snow they play in." He apparently hadn't noticed the places where the snow was distinctly yellow.”

“Moorehead is one of those sad people who go into teaching so they can be worshipped by the only people sadder than they are - students.”

“Pammy surges out of her seat, arm straining for the sky. She will apparently pee herself if she's not allowed to answer this question.”

“According to the fortune-cookie logic most people live by, the best things in life are free. That's crap. I have a gold-plated robot that scratches the exact part of my back where my hands can't reach, and it certainly wasn't free.”

“I am amused when goody-goodies proclaim, from the safety of their armchairs, that children are naturally prejudice-free, that they only learn to "hate" from listening to bigoted adults. Nonsense. Tolerance is a learned trait, like riding a bike or playing the piano. Those of us who actually live among children, who see them in their natural environment, know the truth: Left to their own devices, children will gang up on and abuse anyone who is even slightly different from the norm.”

“It’s simply the most adorable thing ever: My mother has joined a gang.”

“and sunsets are real jerks about putting things in perspective.”