“I have good news and bad news The good news is that the jeep is still where we left it, and I got the damned thing working again.""What's the bad news?""Something took my fuzzy dice.”

“I have good news and bad news. The good news is there is life (of a kind) after this life. The bad news is that Jean-Claude Villeneuve is a necrophiliac.”

“Ash shook his head, but I saw the shadow of a smirk on his face. “You know I'm probably going to kill you soon, right?” he muttered as we headed off into the trees.“Old news, ice-boy.” I chuckled, falling into step beside him. “And you know I wouldn't miss it for the world.”

“The only thing I know about Moses is him coming down from the mountain with the commandments and saying 'The good news is I got him down to 10. The bad news is adultery is still in.”

“The good news and the bad news are the same: No one cares!”

“The bad news is we don't have any control.The good news is we can't make any mistakes.”

“I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is that your house hasn't burned down, you don't have cancer, and your daughter hasn't been raped or murdered. The bad news is that I ran over your dog. And your son. And his wife. But not before I ran out of gas to achieve all of that.”