“[Non-flammable? Challenge accepted.][Alan], I texted, [arson is bad.][It's in the spirit of academic inquiry! It's SCIENCE!] ['Science' is not a legal defense.][Damn them.]”

“He's wearing flannel!" Alan yelped. "He's shoving his straight in my face!”

“[I hear phone sex can work], I sent, [but I kind of doubt text-sex would.]He sent me a picture shot down his pants. I snickered and sent him a picture of my mouth.[autehigixuhi&^%$], he sent back. Then, [yeah, phone sex not satisfying. Also I think I dick-dialed Kentucky.]”

“Don't leave a message," his voicemail said. "If you do, I might call you back. We could end up communicating, and that would be awkward.”

“Grab the lube, 'cause you are so going for the Fucking God button.”

“Check and double-check, and never let go of the rope.”

“He had a talent for asking exactly the right questions to lead me to my own answers. Just being near him made things clearer.”