“Got your text,” he said when I climbed out. “How much did it hurt?”“Not at all,” I said. “Apparently, I can’t get a tattoo because I’m a witch.”“I could have told them-” He stopped. “Oh, you said witch.”“Ha-ha.”

“Ha," I said. "Oh, ha-ha. Yeah, ’cause they love me. You see how many vampires are up here? Zero, right?"One," said Eric, stepping out of the stairwell.”

“Igor?' said Moist. 'You have an Igor?'Oh, yes,' said Hubert. 'That's how I get this wonderful light. They know the secret of storing lightning in jars! But don't let that worry you, Mr Lipspick. Just because I'm employing an Igor and working in a cellar doesn't mean I'm some sort of madman, ha ha ha!'Ha ha,' agreed Moist.Ha hah hah!,' said Hubert. 'Hahahahahaha!! Ahahahahahahhhhh!!!!!-'Bent slapped him on the back. Hubert coughed.Sorry about that, it's the air down here,' he mumbled.”

“Listen up,” I said urgently. “It’s time to round up your gear. I’m gonna check in with Patrick, and then we’re getting the flock out of here.” Ha-ha.”

“I told Dad about yesterday...I told him how I made all those mistakes.'But you kept on playing?' Dad said. His eyes got wide when he said it. I could tell he was proud.'Everybody does,' I said. 'You can't just get up and walk away every time you mess up. You'd never get anywhere.”

“I told him about the Oedipal thing, about my father leaving when I was very young so I knew how to pine for men, but not how to love them. So he said, 'You'd probably would have been perfect for somebody in World War Two. You'd meet him and then he would get shipped overseas.' And I said, 'Maybe on our date I could drop you off and you could enlist,' and he said he would just got out and rent a uniform. So he was very funny.”