“That wasn't English she was speaking: it was the language of diplomacy.”

“He will spit you and roast you with rosemary, and we will all sample your flesh tonight. Tomorrow you will be shat out into the snow.Your diplomacy is bold and edgy, sir.”

“That wasn't so bad. She said, dabbing at her mouth with a napkin. What was it?That was a Rocky Mountain oyster, also know as a Montana tendergroin.No. I just ate bull's balls?Only one, but yes, you just tore up a tasty testicle. Congratulations!”

“I pushed myself forward and rose cautiously to my feet. A draft from the aft signaled that my dressing gown was open, but I didn't care. The nurses could take shots with their camera phones and upload them to their Flickr stream for all I cared, just so long as my face wasn't in it.A wave of dizziness rolled over me when I took a step, but it was one of those gentle rocking swells and not a thirty-foot-tall fist of Poseidon. I could do this. I shuffled over carefully and leaned against the nightstand for support as I opened the drawer. Then I nearly fell over when Granuaile spoke from behind me."Nom nom nom!" she said.I looked around for the cookies she must be referring to and then realized, belatedly, that the room was bereft of delicious baked goods. The only thing on display was my backside, and apparently she thought it looked tasty.”

“No, she knows you're here. She can see through the camouflage. But I think she's hiding something from me, and I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.Never mind. Just listen. Once she drinks the tea, she will try ot surprise me with something. She is waiting for the contrast to be fully in effect before she says anything.I knew I never should have let you watch The Wizard of Oz.”

“What do you know? She liked to be told she was scary. Kinky.”

“Well o' course she's feelin' dandy! She's the mother o' God for the love o' Pete!”