“Just because you've got a wimpy tongue doesn't mean I do," I said.He smiled slyly at me."Wimpy tongue,huh? I'll have to show you what it can do later."i smacked him in the shoulder,unable to hold back another laugh."Oh,I'm a fan of your tongue,no worries there.""I'd like to get that printed on a shirt.""At least I know what to get you for Christmas."We walked into the restaurant, and an hour later walked back out. Lend scowled in frustration. "One of these days I will find something too spicy for you.""Too bad we'll have to go on so many dates while you search.""Alas, all noble causes require sacrifice.”

“And..it was Jack. Jack. Of the many things I'd considered doing to him, most involved violence.None of them involved lip-on-lip action.I jerked my head back,but it wasn't hard to get away,since he pulled back at the same moment.He wrinkled his nose. "Well, that was...interesting. Always wanted to try it,but now that I have,I'm pretty sure I never want to again."Furious,I smacked him in the shoulder with my free hand, hating that we still had to have one clasped so I wouldn't be lost forever. "You"-smack-"little"-smack-"freak!"-smack. "What was that?!" SMACK.He dodged another volley. "And I had been under the impression that afterward was a little less"-he winced as I connected hard-"painful.""Listen,creep,if I wanted you to kiss me,I would have asked! And I didn't. And I wouldn't! And if you ever try that again,so help me,I will find that fossegrim and throw you to a watery death!"And then-as if his awkward,terrible kiss weren't bad enough-he started laughing."SHUT UP!"He shook his head,grinning smugly. "See? Two goals accomplished. One:try out kissing. Miserable failure, no doubt your fault,but a noble effort nonetheless.I should find your friend Carlee. She's probably better at it than you are."Why couldn't my glamour-piercing eyes have a laser function? I wouldn't kill him. I'd just burn the word "freak" into his forehead."Aren't you going to ask me what my second goal was?" He batted his eyelashed at me."No,I'm not."He nudged me in the ribs with his elbow. "You aren't crying anymore, are you?"I'd have to let go of his hand to throttle him. So that option was out. "Being so mad I'd like to kill you is better?”

“Lend sat up,craning his neck to see down my shirt,which I hurriedly pushed back into place. "Last time I checked, you couldn't see souls."He shrugged,an exaggerated look of innocence on his face. "Still,it wouldn't hurt for me to try,would it?""You have got to be the most sefless boyfriend alive.""Like I said,anything worthwhile is worth making sacrifices for.""Speaking of which,weren't you going to give me a tongue demonstration?”

“Okay. What do I have to do?”“Unless you plan on creating a door and walking the Paths alone, you really ought to take my hand.”“I mean when we get there, you jerk.”

“Do you have a driver's license?"He laughed. "That's important?""Oh yeah! I'd kill for a driver's license! Hey, maybe that's what the poem means! I'm going to go berserk and start attacking people because they won't let me drive...""Could be, you never know. But yes, I have a driver's license."I leaned back against the wall, sighing. "Man, that must be so cool.""It ranks right up there with lockers. In fact, sometimes I put my drivers license inside my locker, and it's so cool I worry that the whole thing might explode with the sheer coolness of it all.”

“How?" I had seen it with my own eyes, but I still didn't believe it. Then something struck me. "Take off your shirt!""I'm not that kind of guy!" He frowned thoughtfully. "On second thought, why not?"I blushed angrily and looked at Raquel. "What is he? I don't see anything!""He's not 'anything'.Just a talented boy.""Then how did he make a door? How did he get through the Paths?""Wait,so am I allowed to put my shirt back on? Or did you want me to remove my pants,too?"Lend and I joined forces in a dark glare. "Only if you want me to vomit," I snapped.”

“We've got a problem!" I shouted."No, I heard that. I mean, what's the problem now?""I have the solution!" Jack interrupted."What?" I sat up, all ears."Bells!""What?" Lend and I asked at the same time."Get her a kitty collar with bells on it. That way you can hear her coming and get someplace where you won't be hurt by collapsing immediately into sleep.”