“Ernie greets us again and slaps some glasses on the bar. A young-looking guy in the back of the room mutters something about "damn Cullenist" loud enough for me to hear. (Well, me and everybody else, since we've all got superhearing.) What's he talking about? What did I--oh wait, yeah, those vampire books with the sparkly vampires. Great.”

“Myth: Vampires can read minds. Truth: Geez, I hope not. But it would explain some things about my mom. ”

“Myth: Vampires have the power to charm people.Truth: Kinda depends on the vampire if you ask me. ”

“Myth: Vampires have incredible vision. Truth: Yeah, which is cool, unless you're trying to sneak something past your eagle-eyed mom.”

“Myth: Vampires can shapeshift into bats at will.Truth: Who would want to turn into a giant bat?Wait, don't answer that.”

“Myth: Being a vampire changes your life. Truth: Well, we'll just have to see, won't we?”

“Myth: Vampires have huge stockpiles of gold and treasure.Truth: If that were true, I'd be able to get my dad to actually buy me a car. ”