“I gaped. "You are not seriously that chauvinistic?""Hmmm..." He stroked his chin dramatically. "Maybe not in real life." Hillbilly again. "But as your fake husband...yes, I think I am."I eyed him up and down. "I need to call the Guinness Book of Records or Gray's Anatomy or something, because I am standing here looking at the single largest asshole ever known to man.”

“↑ top up position downThe fact that I suspect I'm an asshole means I probably am not, because a real asshole doesn't think he's an asshole, does he? Therefore, by realizing that I'm an asshole, I am in fact negating that very realization, am I not? Descartes's Asshole Axiom: I think I am; therefor I'm not one.”

“I am not him, Kia. Your dead husband... was an asshole. And now he's gone. You're in bed with me... I'm here because I wanna be here... and when we're done talkin' about that asshole and he's gone again, I'm gonna get you wet and hot for me and I'm gonna be in you because I wanna be in you...There are not many men who would not kill [to be here] and that man is now me and and he's gonna be me for a good long time.”

“I strike fear into you because I am a man?""It isn't funny.""I do not laugh. It is a sad thing, yes, that your husband is a man. A very terrible thing.”

“Are you looking for something real in this world of illusions? Call me. Casual Flings need not apply. I am looking for Love.”

“You undo me, Merit. Wholly and completely. You don't take me at my word. You challenge me at every opportunity. And that means when I'm with you, I am less than the head of this House...and I am more than the head of this House. I am a man." He stroked my cheeks with his thumbs. "In my very, very long life, I need you more than I have ever needed anything.”