“I gaped. "You are not seriously that chauvinistic?""Hmmm..." He stroked his chin dramatically. "Maybe not in real life." Hillbilly again. "But as your fake husband...yes, I think I am."I eyed him up and down. "I need to call the Guinness Book of Records or Gray's Anatomy or something, because I am standing here looking at the single largest asshole ever known to man.”

“I jumped up and "casually" strolled a bit closer. I blinked my eyes in the sun. It couldn't be, could it? But it was.Gabe...."You know, if you're going to stalk someone, you should be less obvious."I wheeled around. It was Todd. He'd snuck up on me.He said, "For starters, try not to standing in the middle of a field, gawking at your prey."I kicked at a dusty clump of grass. "Gawking? I... I'm... not gawking. I was just watching your girlfired putting the moves on someone else. Jealous?""Oh Gabe Webber?" Todd laughed. "Uh...no."I shielded my eyes from the sun. "Why? What's wrong with Gabe Webber?""Nothing. As in, there's nothing there. He has the personality of dry toast."How dare he insult my Gabe? "Oh yes. I forgot. You prefer the company of assholes and jerks. As they say, 'Birds of a feather...'""That must be why you hang around.”

“I'm serious, Mar, I don't know how to act around him now. I can't be nice, because he'll hate that. But I can't be mean just to be nice.""You really need medication.""I'm in a quandary. A Catch-22. I'm screwed.”

“Now, I want you to look at each other. Really look. And then I'd like you to each say something positive about the other person." "Now Todd, you go first."Todd eye balled me up and down."She appears to have all her teeth"."OOh, good one,Todd," I cooed,then turned to maggie and smiled sweetly. " And Todd smells very little like a pile of goat crap.”

“So he likes being mean to you," she said. "And you like that he likes being mean to you.""And I like being mean to him, too, don't forget.""Of course not. Pleasure from meaness. There's a name for it: sadomasochism.""Thanks a lot." I said. "That's just what I need. A mental picture of Todd Harding laced up in a black leather bodysuit with a whip in one hand and his wang in the other.”

“If I was Todd's wife in real life, I'd have to kill myself. Okay, maybe I'm being a bit melodramatic. I wouldn't kill myself. But I'd definitely turn lesbian, at the very least.”

“You look at me but never see the love I feel for you. But in your eyes, I see the skies. The endlessness of time and blue. Like water that span the raging sea. And break upon the sandbar of your heart.”