“they do have these things called bookstores there. I've heard tell that if you give them money, they let you leave with a book.”

“CUSTOMER: Do you have this children's book I've heard about? It's supposed to be very good. It's called "Lionel Richie and the Wardrobe.”

“There are many farm handouts; but let's call them what they really are: a form of legalized theft. Essentially, a congressman tells his farm constituency, "Vote for me. I'll use my office to take another American's money and give it to you.”

“Don't tell people how to do things, tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results.”

“Do you have your own room, Charlie Brown?""Oh, yes... I have a very nice room.""I hope you realize that you won't always have your own room... Someday you'll get drafted or something, and you'll have to leave your room forever!""Why do you tell me things like that?""It's on a list I've made up for you... I call it, Things You Might As Well Know!”

“But the Good Book said a lot of things. Like 'love thy neighbor' and ' do unto others as you would have them do unto you'. If nothing else, wasn't the message of the Good Book to live and let live? So how could the Crosses call themselves 'God's chosen' and still treat us the way they did?”