“Anyone who can rationalize love through intellect, has no idea what love is, for it is an emotion, and cannot be rationalized. For love is crazy.”

“I love you, Emmy, scars and all.”

“Every day I am thankful for Luke, the real love of my life, my Prince Charming, my rescuer. He saved me from my biggest enemy, myself.”

“Dad, why did you marry a crazy woman?" I asked after the usual pleasantries. "I didn't know she was crazy before I married her. By the time I found out, she was already knocked up and it was too late.”

“You love me, but you don't want me," he said with such sadness, I burst into tears. While crying, I had the biggest orgasm of my life as Luke held me tighter than ever and rocked into me and climaxed with me. He wiped at my tears."I didn't mean to make you cry," he said.”

“I haven't slept with him, Mom." I whispered, lying through my teeth. I just didn't want to discuss my sex life with her. She would probably critique my oral skills or something."I should have known. You don't sleep with anybody. That's why you can't keep a man.”

“Who lives in a pineapple under your jeans?" He sang softly. "SpongeBob booty pants!" He ended his little song with a soft slap to my rear.”