“Or why you are wearing a picture of Santa Clause on you shirts, but-”“It’s Herman Melville.”

“Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies!”

“You better watch out. You better not cry. You better not pout, I'm telling you why,Cause Santa Clause might put a cap in your ass.”

“...I like the way Chee kept God magical, sorta like Santa Claus when you're a kid. More priests should take this approach, because there is a frickin' reason why Santa Claus is more popular than Jesus nowadays.”

“Wait until you meet the therapist. That bad?Let's just say i can't believe he's a real person.Like Santa Claus?More like if Santa Claus and Ron Jeremy had a child and then that child had a child with Richard Simmons.So, like a leprechaun?Yes, Otter, exactly like a leprechaun.I'm going to tell him I believe in Santa Claus, just to see what happens.I dare you.”

“It's easy to look like Santa Claus when you don't have to buy the groceries.”