“I've never questioned the integrity of an umpire. Their eyesight, yes.”

“Today a pitcher gets fined if the umpire thinks he threw at a batter. In the olden days, the umpire didn't have to take any courses in mind reading. The pitcher told you he was going to throw at you.”

“Baseball is like church. Many attend, few understand.”

“Branch Rickey once said of me that I was a man with an infinite capacity for immediately making a bad thing worse.”

“Kid, show me a man who doesn't go down on his wife and I'll show you a man whose wife I can sleep with, tonight.”

“Yes, I suppose so," answered Anna, as though wondering at the boldness of his question; but the irrepressible, quivering brilliance of her eyes and her smile set him on fire as she said it.”

“The question of how things will settle down is the only important question...”