“He said, 'Hi, gorgeous,' which I think is nice. I admire honesty.”

“Mum said, "It is the thought that counts."And I said, "I know, which is why I am ringing the authorities right now. Anyone who thinks like she does should be locked up out of harm's way.”

“I said, "Do you think she thinks it's me?"Jas said, "Well, it's pretty conclusive, isn't it? She said 'the most sniveling idiot I have ever come across.'"I said, "I didn't know that YOU have been seeing Masimo. Tom the Slug King is going to be very upset.”

“I always want to tell him everything. Butinstead I said, “What’s your advice, Horn -meister?”And he started doing pretend beard strokingand said, “Well, luuurve is a many trouseredthing. . . .”

“I put my arm around her and said, "Jas, I have found that when you are troubled, it is often better to think of others rather than yourself. I think you would feel much better if you got me some milky coffee and jammy dodgers and I told you all about me.”

“He came over and ruffled my hair, which is technically assault. I could get on the blower to ChildLine.”

“He says we should take it easy and that maybe he overreacted a bit."Dave said, "A bit? That's like Hitler saying, 'Oooh, I just meant to go for a little walk, but then I accidentally invaded Poland.”