“He was nice. And he was hot. And he didn't seem to mind that I was borderline mental.”

“I didn't know his age or how he liked his tea, I was wearing a terrible coat and I was drunk as a stoat - but this moment felt like it. The one I'd been waiting patiently for since I was a little girl. I'd worked so hard, for so long, at being ok with being single, but all of the things I'd told myself about independence were disappearing rapidly into the cold night. Right now, he felt like the only person who mattered in the whole world.”

“Well, he's history. You're free to meet the man of your dreams now.”

“He walked towards me. My heart was pounding like a nineties warehouse rave.”

“He was what the egotistical part of me had always longed for: danger, sexiness, popularity, style, unpredictability. The kind of man who'd always keep me guessing. Just one night with him and i'd already started to wonder if perhaps i'd spent the last two years in a comfortable coma.”

“I wondered if perhaps I'd gone mad. I had known this man less than twenty-four hours and already I wanted to raise his children.”

“Well then that's our date confirmed. I am excited! Most girls want to know if I have long term plans to start a family; you want to know if I like 80s rap. I think I'm in love with you. Actually, I'm not you have a foul mouth and terrible taste in men by all accounts.”