“If the waitress comes, order me a coffee and something that involves bacon.”
“I'm looking for freedom with a side of restraining order, but everything just comes with bacon.”
“I ordered a cheeseburger and a beer from a waitress who looked as though she wanted to be in one of those want-to-get-away? commercials. She called me hon. I love when a waitress calls me hon.”
“Oh... and Bacon Surprise.'REALLY? WHAT IS SO SURPRISING ABOUT BACON?'I don't know. I suppose it comes as something of a shock to the pig.”
“I just smiled and wished hard for the waitress to come back from Cancun or Mazatlan or wherever she was so I could order my martini.”
“There are few things in life that are worth waking up to: sex, the dark spices of freshly brewed coffee and bacon.”