“He loved Jaime. He loved him so much sometimes he thought he must certainly be losing his mind. It was hard to believe his heart could go on beating minute after minute, day after day, when it felt so distorted and huge and fragile.”

“You sayin' you want to go?""Don't you?""Hell no!""Okay,I'll tell Matt and Jared that they can go to Paris without us."The only response was stunned silence, and I finally turned to smile at him. "Do you want to reconsider?" I asked."The wedding's in Paris?""Yep."His dark eyes were huge, and I could see so much in them. He was excited, almost giddy. I could see it bubbling up in him, but he was trying t stay calm and not get his hopes up. "Can we afford Paris?""No," I said, "but it doesn't matter. Cole's footing the bill."He grabbed my shirt and pushed me back against the countertop, almost as if he was going to kiss me, but stopped short, looking into my eyes. "Are you serious?""Would I lie to you about something like this?""No.""Do you think I'd make it up just to tease you?""No.""Yes."He backed up a step. "Yes what?"he asked.I could hardly keep from laughing that I'd finally managed to turn the tables on him with his own backward form of communication. "Yes, I'm absolutely serious. Cole offered to fly us all to Paris."...His expression was so full of hope, I thought it was a good thing I hadn't tried to say no. He put his hand against my cheek and looked into my eyes. "Tell me what you want to do."All I had to do was tell him the truth. I brushed his hair out of his eyes and said, "I want to do whatever will make you happy."He smiled at me, the huge, excited smile of a child who woke up from his nap to find himself in Disneyland. "I want to go to Paris.""Okay," I said as I leaned down to kiss him. "Then you will.”

“Jared?” His fingers were playing gently in my curls. “Yes?” I was more than halfway asleep, perfectly warm and content, back in my own bed. With him. “Say it for me.” “You’re heavy.” “No.” “You’re a manipulative bastard.” “No.” He was laughing. “You’re right.” He gave one hard tug on my hair. “That’s not it either.” “I love you?” He sighed contentedly. “That’s the one.”

“What the hell happened to your leg?" Ang asked him. Matt looked down at his shin, which was scraped and oozing and seemed to be caked in mud. "Crashed.""Crashed what?" Ang asked. "My mountain bike. We just got back.""You crashed, then what? Rolled in dirt?"He laughed. "Something like that actually. It's not a successful ride if you don't bleed." He must not have noticed the look of horror on my face, because he asked, suddenly enthusiastic, "You guys ride?"Angelo and I just looked at each other, and he seemed to realize that was a "no." "Too bad. Well, make yourselves at home. Beer's in the fridge. I have to get cleaned up. Kickoff's in ten minutes.""Football?" Angelo asked. Matt looked at his as if he had just asked if the sky was really blue. "Yeah! First game of the regular season!" We just stared blankly at him, and he just laughed and disappeared down the hall. Angelo looked at me with a smile on his face. "Four fags watchin' football. Must be pretty fuckin' cold in hell right now.”

“Our one employee came warily out of the back. He was always skittish with me, and if Lizzy wasn't around, he made a point of keeping his distance. I think he was expecting me to make a pass at him. He was seventeen, had stringy black hair,bad skin, and probably weighed a buck five soaked wet. I didn't have the heart to tell him he wasn't my type.”

“You already are the guy I deserve.""No, Zach," he said, shaking his head. "I'm just the guy you love.”

“Jared was completely gone now, holding his stomach and laughing so hard that tears were running down his face. Matt turned on him and snapped, "It's not funny," which only made Jared laugh harder."Any of you guys strict about top or bottom?" Angelo asked, "'Cause if so, you'll screw it all up-""Literally," Cole said."And we'll have to start all over." Angelo turned to Matt. "If you got a strong preference you better say so now.""Lay it all out, so to speak," Cole said."On the table." Angelo said."For all to see.""Zach does like to watch," Angelo said, winking at me, and I was relieved that with the direction the conversation was going, nobody took him seriously."Then it's settled!" Cole said. "Who's going where with whom first? Zach, I think you're up." He winked at me. "Or you soon will be.""Oh dear God," Mat moaned, hanging his head. "I knew I shouldn't have come.""Don't worry about it a bit," Cole said. "I'm sure Zach can coax at least one more out of you."Jared laughed so hard, I was amazed he managed to stay in his chair.”