“When I was your age — about, ooh, a thousand years ago — I loved a good bedtime story. The Three Little Sontarans. The Emperor Dalek's New Clothes. Snow White and the Seven Keys to Doomsday, eh? All the classics.”

“Vanity of vanities, all is vanity, and there is nothing new under the sun, as Solomon said more than three thousand years ago.”

“Snow White one, Snow White two,Sorrow is coming out for you.Snow White three, Snow White four,Black as night, go lock your door.Snow White five, Snow White six,Blood red lips and crucifixSnow White seven, Snow White eight,White as snow, don’t stay out late.Snow White Nine, Snow White ten,Snow White now killed snow white then”

“Fair queen, at home there is none like thee,But over the mountains is Snow-white free,With seven little dwarfs, who are strange to see;A thousand times fairer than thou is she.Queen, thou art not the fairest now;Snow-white over the mountain's browA thousand times fairer is than thou.Queen, thou art the fairest here,But not when Snow-white is near;Over the mountains still is she,Fairer a thousand times than thee.”

“If my mom told one more story about how cute I looked in the bathtub when I was three years old I was going to burrow into the snow and freeze myself to death.”

“If I tell you another seven hundred times, maybe one of these days you might turn your clothes right side out when you put them in the hamper, eh?”