“Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today!”
“Nothing of importance happened today.”
“Nothing happened today. And if anything did, I’d rather not talk about it, because I didn’t understand it.”
“People to whom nothing has ever happened cannot understand the unimportance of events.”
“Apparently I lack some particular perversion which today's employer is seeking. ”
“Another ten points from Gryffindor,” said Snape. “I would expect nothing more sophisticated from you, Ronald Weasley, the boy so solid he cannot Apparate half an inch across a room.”