“I'm presently incarcerated. Convicted of a crime I didn't even commit. Hah! "Attempted murder"? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel prize for attempted chemistry? Do they?”

“Lisa, I apologize to you, I was wrong, I take it all back. Always be yourself. If you want to be sad, honey, be sad. We’ll ride it out with you. And when you get finished feeling sad, we’ll still be there. From now on, let me do the smiling for both of us.”

“I promise I'll do anything for you, especialy if it's easy.Homer Simpson”

“I didn't lie, I was writing fiction with my mouth."Homer Simpson”

“Painted on shirts went over so well I thought, why not painted on pants? Well, the big shot manager at Krusty Burger didn't agree!”

“Do my worst, eh? Smithers, release the robotic Richard Simmons."--Mr. Burns”

“When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.”