“One year later, I got beat up at a Neil Diamond concert by a guy named Scrunchie!”

“A certain man once lost a diamond cuff-link in the wide blue sea, and twenty years later, on the exact day, a Friday apparently, he was eating a large fish - but there was no diamond inside. That’s what I like about coincidence.”

“Take your diamonds and throw em up like you're bulimic. Yeah, the beat cold, but the flow is anemic.”

“I was born Mary Patterson, but then I married and naturally took my husband's name, so now I'm Neil Patterson.”

“Before I take you into the beating heart of the story, let’s get one thing out of the way. I know from experience that when it comes up later, it will distract you so much that you won’t be able to concentrate on anything else I will tell you. My name is Jubilee Dougal. Take a moment and let it sink in.”

“Two hearts that beat as one, and they’re both mine. I’ve got them hooked up to a synchometer.”