“And I'm sure than in Poland, or somewhere, it is considered cool to drive a Porsche and wear necklaces and black silk, but at least back in Brooklyn if you did those things you were either a drug dealer or from New Jersey.”

“You know," I said, holding my ground. "I gotta tell you. The goatee thing? Yeah, way over. And you know a little jewelry really does go a long way. Just something you might want to consider. I'm actually glad you stopped by, because I have a couple things I've been meaning to say to you. Number one,about your wife? Yeah, she's a skank. And number two, you know that whole thing where you killed Jesse and then buried his remains out back there? Yeah, way un-cool.”

“anybody can be a princess. all you have todo is have the right parents. it's no harder than being born Paris Hilton, for God's sake.at least you remember to put on underwear in the morning, i'm assuming”

“You know. Life's short. If you don't try new things, you'll never know what you're best at. And you can only make time for new things by quitting the things you know don't work for you.”

“This was something you had to work through on you own," Jason said. "Besides, I knew you'd do the right thing.""Oh, right," I said. I wanted to throw something at him. I really did. "And if I hadn't?"Now Jason brandished something he'd been holding behind his back. It was a golf club."I figured Big Bertha here would drive them away," he said.”

“I know it, but I'm going to let it go, because i'm the bigger person. Not literally but metaphorically as well. Because I believe what you put into the universe comes back at you times three, which is why I always try only to put good things, not horrible skinny bitch things, into the universe.”

“I don't know everything," she said. Her eyes were filling with tears. "If I knew everything, would I have gotten into this mess in the first place? I certainly don't know why you assume I'm going to drop everything and fly off to Antigua with you. I don't even know what I'm doing her. I don't know why we haven't talked in two weeks. And the worst part is, if I do go to Antigua with you, I don't know if I'll ever want to come back. I'm pretty sure I'll want to stay there with you forever." She was crying so hard, she couldn't even see him. "And the fact that I just said that out loud is even scarier to me than vampires.”