“anybody can be a princess. all you have todo is have the right parents. it's no harder than being born Paris Hilton, for God's sake.at least you remember to put on underwear in the morning, i'm assuming”

“being born a princess is all right, but behaving like one can be dangerous.”

“If you have one parent who loves you, even if they can't buy you clothes, they're so poor and they make all kinds of mistakes and maybe sometimes they even give you awful advice, but never for one moment do you doubt their love for you--if you have this, you have incredibly good fortune.If you have two parents who love you? You have won life's Lotto.If you do not have parents, or if the parents you have are so broken and so, frankly, terrible that they are no improvement over nothing, this is fine.It's not ideal because it's harder without adults who love you more than they love themselves. But harder is just harder, that's all.”

“The next morning-at least, I assumed it was morning, since we were all waking up- I felt like one of those twelve dancing princesses, who danced all night, wore holes in their shoes, and had to sleep it off the next day. Except, oh yeah: a)I'm not a princess; b)sleeping in a subway tunnel and having another brain attack aren't that much like dancing all night; and c) my combat boots were still in good shape. Other than that, it was exactly the same.”

“I'm so overexposed, I'm making Paris Hilton look like a recluse.”

“The planet is in distress and all of the attention is on Paris Hilton.”