“even if vampires were stupid. Especially American vampires. They hung out in places Alaric himself would never have gone, especially if he were immortal. Such as high schools. And Walmart.”

“Lestat and Louie feel sorry for vampires that sparkle in the sun. They would never hurt immortals who choose to spend eternity going to high school over and over again in a small town ---- anymore than they would hurt the physically disabled or the mentally challenged. My vampires possess gravitas. They can afford to be merciful.”

“Life is a killer on the other side of the stake. Especially if your a vampire or a slayer.”

“He is the dark prince. The all-powerful one. The leader of the creatures of the night." Then Meena said, "I'm confused then. I thought the prince of darkness was the devil."[......]"Wait," Meena said, blinking. " Are you saying.....""Yes," Alaric said. "That is exactly what I'm saying."Jon looked blank. "I don't understand. Is he the devil or not?""Lucien Antonescu," Alaric said. "is a vampire. Not just any vampire, but the ruler of all vampires.”

“The idea of celibate vampires is ridiculous. To me, vampires are sex. I don't get a vampire story about abstinence. I don't care about high school students. I find them irritating and uninformed.”

“One should always avoid unnecessary unhappiness. Especially if one is an immortal. They taught us that in school.”