“Honey, some boys stopped by to see you. They had wood.”

“I'm a liar. And I can't stop thinking about boys.”

“Honey, You ain't a hundred dollar bill, not everyone is going to like you.”

“I just want to let you know that when I look into my future, I see nothing but you.” That’s what Chaz had whispered in my ear at some point during the wedding last night.Then he’d whispered. “And you’re not even wearing Spanx.”

“Do not chase boys. Chasing boys is bad. Chasing boys can lead to horrible things like mansions going up into flames, hand amputations, and blindness. So have some self respect and don't let things get too far before the wedding day.”

“I've come to the conclusion that, aside from Nazis, the Taliban, and possibly the honey badger, there is no one on the planet more merciless than a teenage girl once she's decided she dislikes you.”

“I laythere in my black slip dress and wondered if I ought to have worn pants. I mean, who knew what I wasgoing to find up there? What if I had to do some climbing? People might see my underwear.”