“I've come to the conclusion that, aside from Nazis, the Taliban, and possibly the honey badger, there is no one on the planet more merciless than a teenage girl once she's decided she dislikes you.”

“You know what you sound like? A jealous girl friend.And how are things on Planet You Wish?”

“Paul: You know what you sound like? A jealous girl friend.Suze: And how are things on Planet You Wish?”

“I don't really know. I've never rescued a girl I love from the Furies before." He looked alarmed as he noticed my eyes were filling with tears. "Don't cry." "How can I not?" I asked him. "You just said you love me.""Why else did you think all of this was happening?" He set the book aside to wrap his arms around me. "The Furies wouldn't be trying to kill you if I didn't love you.”

“You know", Grandma says, "you could learn a lot from Dr.Quinn. She knows how to make soap from a sheep's guts. And she had twins when she was fifty. Fifty!”

“But I don't care what Megan Fox or Jessica Biel say: There are definite advantages to being the hottest girl on the planet. Number one was that I got paid for it. A lot.”

“I get accused all the time of having a bigmouth. But if you ask me, guys gossip way more than girls do.”