“Maybe nobody has a right to tell anybody to shut up. Maybe this is how wars get started, because someone tells someone else to shut up, and then no one will apologize.”

“I’m not going to tell anybody, not even Lilly. Lilly would NOT understand. NOBODY would understand. Because nobody I know has ever been in this situation before. Nobody ever went to bed one night as one person and then woke up the next morning to find out that she was somebody completely different.”

“To keep one's marriage brimming,With love in the wedding cup,Whenever you're wrong admit it;Whenever you're right, shut up." - Ogden Nash”

“Oh my God. I thought I was going to have an aneurysm right there in line. Your hair smells really good? Your hair smells really good? Who did he think he was? James Bond? You don't tell someone their hair smells good. Not in a mall.”

“I don't want water!" Sarah cries, her face buried against my chest.I can't see what's going on in the rest of the lobby beacuse Sarah's hair is flying up in my face, blocking my view.I want justice!" she wails.Well, we'll get you some of that too." Magda has appeared from out of nowhere. "Maybe there's some in the freezer.”

“There was a DJ who stayed up for eleven days straight, the longest recorded period of time anyone has ever gone without sleep, and he started playing nothing by Phil Collins, and that's how they knew it was time to call the ambulance.”

“But I had loved him. A part of me still did. Maybe more than a part of me, because I'm a complete moron.”