“my grandmother has given me her own version of the precious gift: the most precious gift any teenager coul ask for:MY GRANDMOTHER HAS GIVEN MY MY OWN SEX PLACE!!!!!”

“Did Gran go to a gynecologist? That is totally weird. I never thought about my grandmother's vagina before. I don't want to be thinking about my grandmother's vagina. Not here, at her funeral. In a church. While i'm doing a reading from the Bible.”

“I'll put a bullet through my own brain. Let alone wait for stark to do it. Your sister will drive me to it, Howard. No offense.”

“It’s my own fault, really. For believing in fairy tales. Not that I ever mistook them for actual historical fact, or anything. But I did grow up believing that for every girl, there’s a prince out there somewhere. All she has to do is find him. Then it’s on with thehappily ever after. So you can only imagine what happened when I found out. That my prince really IS one. A prince. No, I really mean it. He’s an actual PRINCE.”

“I don't want water!" Sarah cries, her face buried against my chest.I can't see what's going on in the rest of the lobby beacuse Sarah's hair is flying up in my face, blocking my view.I want justice!" she wails.Well, we'll get you some of that too." Magda has appeared from out of nowhere. "Maybe there's some in the freezer.”

“I'll just go at my own pace. Nice and easy. Here we go. There, see? I'm doing it. I'm running! Hey, look at me! I'm running! I'm-Okay, well, that's enough of that. Whew. I mean, a girl could hyperventilate from doing that. And seriously, it's my first day. Don't want to overdo it.”

“Every moment away from you feels like time spent in a sort of cell. I can think of nothing, dream of nothing, but you. Unfortunately, I will have to remain in my self-inflicted prison a bit longer, since work will keep me from meeting you tonight. I can't seem to find a way to avoid this... however, I hope this gift will make up for my unforgivable behavior. I saw this and though of you, and St. George. You have slain the dragon.Until we meet again, I am your Lucien.”