“What's the point? was my attitude. We're all just going to die and then NOT be let on the boat.”

“I just want to let you know that when I look into my future, I see nothing but you.” That’s what Chaz had whispered in my ear at some point during the wedding last night.Then he’d whispered. “And you’re not even wearing Spanx.”

“Life's not easy for unicorns, you know. We're a dying breed.”

“Y Won’t U B With Me, Kate?Oh, Kate, Y won’t U B with me?Kate, Don’t U know what U mean to me?I look at the dirty dishes piling up in the sinkand all I can thinkis KateU kept the place so cleanKate, I treated U like a queenOh, Kate, U mean the world to meKate, Come home to meOh, Kate, Y can’t it BLike it used to BBecause this world ain’t meant for loversNo, this world ain’t meant for U and meBecause the bureaucrats in Washington, they’ll set off the bombs, so what’s the point,Kate?We’re all just going to die, anyway.So, Kate, Y won’t U B with me?—Dale Carter, All Rights Reserved”

“Good," he said. "We need to talk." Suddenly, I didn't feel so relaxed anymore. Talk? What does he want to talk about? The part where I nearly died? I didn't want to talk about that. Because the fact is, that whole part, the part where I nearly died, well, I nearly died trying to save him. Seriously. I was hoping he hadn't noticed, but I could tell by the look on his face that he totally had. Noticed, I mean. And now he wanted to talk about it. But how could I talk about it? Without letting it slip? The L word, I mean. "You know what?" I said, very fast. "I don't want to talk. Is that okay? I really, really don't want to talk. I am all talked out. Jesse lifted Spike of his lap and put him on the floor. Then he stood up. What was he doing? I wondered. What was he doing? I took a deep breath, and kept talking about not talking. "I'm just--Look," I said as he took a step toward me. "I'm just going to give CeeCee a call and maybe we'll go to the beach or something, because really...I just need a day off." Another step forward. Now he was right in front of me. "Especially," I said, significantly, looking up at him, "from talking. That's especially what I need a day off from. Talking." "Fine," he said. He reached up and cupped my face in both hands. "We don't have to talk." And that's when he kissed me. On the lips.”

“And then, little by little, the reality of what I had just done sank in: I had just killed my boyfriend’s dad!”

“Also, I think I felt something come loose back there. I'm not trying to overreact or anything but I think it was my uterus. Honest. I think my uterus jiggled free. My uterus is just going to come out between my legs and I'm going to look like I'm walking around with an enormous load in my pants.”