“[while toasting] To blow jobs we want back”
“In porn, men give blow jobs like they love men. Women give blow jobs like they love the camera.”
“So I am death" Charlie said then turned to his daughter while buttering his toast."This is death toast sweety.”
“Before going home with a guy, give him a blow job. Guys are always more relaxed after a blow job. (You're totally welcome, guys. P.S. Girls can't see this sentence!!!!!)”
“If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?”
“I wondered whose job it was to blow sunshine into my ears.”