“Do I look like I watch Star Trek?”

Michael Scott

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Quote by Michael Scott: “Do I look like I watch Star Trek?” - Image 1

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“BILLY: Did you ever watch Star Trek?MACHIAVELLI: Do I look like I watch Star Trek?BILLY: It's hard to tell who's a Trekkie.MACHIAVELLI: Billy, I ran one of the most sophisticated secret service organizations in the world. I did not have time for Star Trek. (pause) I was more of a Star Wars fan. Why do you ask?BILLY: Well, when Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock beamed down to a planet, usually with Dr. McCoy and sometimes with Scotty from engineering...MACHIAVELLI: Wait a minute--what's Mr. Spock again?BILLY: A Vulcan.MACHIAVELLI: His rank.BILLY: The first officer.MACHIAVELLI: So the captain, the first officer, the ship's doctor, and sometimes the engineer all beam down to a planet. Together. The entire complement of the senior officers?BILLY: (nods)MACHIAVELLI: And who has command of the ship?BILLY: (shrug) I don't know. Junior officers, I guess.MACHIAVELLI: If they worked for me I'd have them court-martialed. That sounds like a gross dereliction of duty.BILLY: I know. I always thought it was a little odd myself.”


“Virginia," Billy said urgently. "Don't do this.""Shut up,Billy.""Think of the people in San Francisco.""I don't know any of the people in San Francisco," Virginia answered, then paused. "Well,actually I do,and I don't like them. But I do like you,Billy, and I'm not going to allow you to end up as lunch for some raggedy lion-monster-thingy.""A sphinx," Machiavelli corrected her. He was standing at the bars again. "Mistress Dare," the Italian said carefully. "I absolutely applaud you for what you want to do for your friend. But I urge you to think of the bigger picture.”


“But do I need to say anything?" Sophie asked. "Do I need to learn any words?""Like what?" Saint-Germain said."Well, when you lit up the Eiffel tower, you said something that sounded like eggness." "Ignis," the count said. "Latin for fire. No, you don't need to say anything." "Then why did you do it, then?" Sophie asked. Saint-Germain grinned. "I just thought it sounded cool.”


“Niten's eyes didn't move, but a trace of a smile curled his lips. "I do not need my eyes to tell me where I'm going.""I have no idea what that means," Josh said. "Is it like some sort of ninja trick?"Niten shot Josh a warning look. "Whatever you do, don't mention-"It was too late. In the backseat Aoife stirred. "Ninjas," she spat. "Why is everyone so obsessed with ninjas? They were never that good. And they were cowards, sneaking around in their black pajamas, stabbing their victims with poisoned darts. I hate ninjas-they have no honor.”


“I like places like this," he announced.I like old places too," Josh said, "but what's to like about a place like this?"The king spread his arms wide. "What do you see?"Josh made a face. "Junk. Rusted tractor, broken plow, old bike."Ahh...but I see a tractor that was once used to till these fields. I see the plow it once pulled. I see a bicycle carefully placed out of harm's way under a table."Josh slowly turned again, looking at the items once more.And i see these things and I wonder at the life of the person who carefully stored the precious tractor and plow in the barn out of the weather, and placed their bike under a homemade table."Why do you wonder?" Josh asked. "Why is it even important?"Because someone has to remember," Gilgamesh snapped, suddenly irritated. "Some one has to remember the human who rode the bike and drove the tractor, the person who tilled the fields, who was born and lived and died, who loved and laughed and cried, the person who shivered in the cold and sweated in the sun." He walked around the barn again, touching each item, until his palm were red with rust." It is only when no one remembers, that you are truely lost. That is the true death.”


“And now that they have us here, under their control, they've dropped whatever act they had on earth. We're seeing them as they really are.' He dipped his glove into the water and watched as the water turned golden. The air suddenly smelled of citrus. 'Look! It's orange juice!''Josh, focus!''You sound just like Mom or Isis or whatever her name is.”