“Every adversity is just another opportunity to excel a little more.”

“Obama's plan for "change": Let's do everything Bush did, only with more suck! Because it just didn't suck badly enough the first time!”

“It is the moral duty of every US voter to guarantee that Barack Hussein Obama is a one-term president.”

“With each passing day, I become more and more convinced that the greatest threat to American freedom is the United States government.”

“The world would be a far better place if more people listened to the wisdom of Hawkeye Pierce.”

“Jersey Shore has killed more brain cells than alcohol, cocaine, and meth combined.”

“True love means knowing that your love may never be returned, and loving all the more because of it.”