“It is simple; when I got here I noticed the orange juice was on the right side of the table which lead me to believe that this bitch is left handed. Since tomorrow is Thursday and school buses are yellow… I knew I had to make a sandwich. Then I screamed the number 4 silently in my head for an hour; that’s when shit got real. Since birds are afraid of Asian people... the lady got killed when she murdered herself, obviously.”

Mike G.S.I

Mike G.S.I - “It is simple; when I got here I noticed...” 1

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