“I think JJ will tell me that he loves me soon," Lacey says to Kristen. "He definitely will," Kristen says. "I can tell by the way he looks at you."I force myself to cough so I don't laugh. JJ stares at Lacey the way he stares at every one of the Titans' cheerleaders. It's the same way he stares at cheese fries, for that matter.”

“Shut up!" Henry says, "You're going to wake up Jerry Rice.""Jerry Rice?" Carter says, covering his mouth with a hand. I don't think I've ever seen Carter laugh so hard."Carter, would you like to be the godfather?" Henry asks. "You know, in case anything happens to me and Woods this week?""Charming," Carter says. "I''d be honored. Does JJ get to be godmother?""Obviously," I say."Can I hold Jerry Rice?" JJ asks. "He''s so cute.""No way, man," I reply. "I don't want to wake that thing up before practice. We'll be late if we have to feed it.""What does it eat?" Carter asks."I have to breast-feed, cause I'm the mom," Henry says, continuing to push the stroller toward the locker room."Actually," I say, "It eats a metal rod, made out of, like, lead. So basically, we're learning how to poison babies.""Radical," JJ says as we approach the gym,”

“Keep telling yourself that. Thanks for scaring them off. Turn around so I can get dressed." "No." "No?" "No." He stares straight into my eyes. "I didn't scare them off for you. I did it for me. I'm coming in with you.”

“Henry looks from my face back to the field, and his eyes pop open wide. I turn to see why he's gaping: JJ and Carter are messing around, tryingto shove a scrawny wide receiver into Jerry Rice's stroller."JJ!" Henry yells, "You can't fit a freshman in that stroller.”

“Jordan, he's loved you forever. It's obvious. Have you not seen how he stares at you?”

“Now that we all have partners, all husbands should come pick up theirprojects."Pick up our project? Shrugging, I stand up and stretch my arms. Henry also stands. "No way, dude," I say. "I'm the man in this relationship.""Oh yeah, absolutely," he says, grinning. He sits back down as I walk to the closet to see this project, which turns out to be one of those fakeelectronic babies. Oh good God. Ms. Bonner hands me a fake baby boy. The doll has these creepy glass eyes that look like they’re staring straightinto my soul. I hold the doll out in front of me like it's a flaming bag of poo and carry it back to Henry."Congratulations, Mommy," I say, dropping the doll into his hands. You could've told me I knocked you up.”

“He stares at you at all the time in class. He misses you too.”