“My very small part in WATCHMEN is that, every now and then, Alan would phone me: ''Neil, you're an educated man. Where does it say...''He would need a quote from the Bible, or an essay about owls. I was his occasional research assistant.”

“Alan sensed Bull as liability, pure liability, triple liability. Alan was now having an affair with a man who had a cunt in the back of his leg. Worse still, the man was his patient. At the very least he would be struck off…”

“I will not be quoting Hemingway anytime soon, nor will I ever read another one of his books.And if he were still alive, I would write him a letter right now and threaten to strangle him dead with my bare hands just for being so glum.No wonder he put a gun to his head, like it says in the introductory essay.”

“Don't call what isn't prophecy "prophecy." Don't say "the Lord told me" if you're not about to quote a Bible verse.”

“There was once a strange, small man. He decided three important details about his life:1. He would part his hair from the opposite side to everyone else.2. He would make himself a small, strange mustache.3. He would one day rule the world....Yes, the Fuhrer decided that he would rule the world with words.”

“To say on the authority of the Bible that God does a thing no honourable man would do, is to lie against God; to say that it is therefore right, is to lie against the very spirit of God.”