“You're excuses are so lame they're limping...”

“Do not limp before the lame, deeming it a kindness.”

“Saying 'I notice you're a nerd' is like saying, 'Hey, I notice that you'd rather be intelligent than be stupid, that you'd rather be thoughtful than be vapid, that you believe that there are things that matter more than the arrest record of Lindsay Lohan. Why is that?' In fact, it seems to me that most contemporary insults are pretty lame. Even 'lame' is kind of lame. Saying 'You're lame' is like saying 'You walk with a limp.' Yeah, whatever, so does 50 Cent, and he's done all right for himself.”

“Destiny is for losers. It's just a lame excuse for letting things happen to you instead of making them happen.”

“You are good when you walk to your goal firmly and with bold steps.Yet you are not evil when you go thither limping.For those who limp go not backwards.But you who are strong and swift, see that you do not limp before the lame, deeming it kindness.”

“In my lame pescetarian defense, it's very hard to be a girl and say you won't eat something. Refuse one plate of bacon-wrapped pork rinds and you're anorexic. Accept them and you're on the Atkins. Excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and you're bulimic. Best to keep perfectly still and bring an IV of fluids with you to dinner.”