“...If there's one thing I'm well versed in it's my own good qualities.”

“You never do things the easy way, do you?" she said."There's an easy way?" I asked.”

“He then proceeded to shout at Alpha and Beta, a sign that he was in a genuine good mood. They took it as calmly as ever, in spite of the fact that he accused them of things I'm sure no donkey has ever willingly done, especially not Beta, who possessed impeccable moral character.”

“Good lord woman. If i had tits like yours I'd own half the world by now.”

“She looked at me. "What? Is there something wrong with my idea?""It's not very heroic," I said dismissively. "I was expecting something with a little more flair.""Well, I left my armor and warhorse at home," she said. "You're just upset because your big University brain couldn't think of a way, and my plan is brilliant.”

“My bad luck got tangled up with my bad decisions, and I'm paying for it.”

“When left to its own devices it tends to make me look as if I’ve been set afire.”