“Sam LeClaire was a good-looking son of a bitch.”

“I know about safe sex," Nathan said, interrupting Jack's thoughts. Jack swallowed. "That's good." He smiled at his son, vastly relieved that there would be no hard questions about his own sex life. "What I want to know is..." Nathan stole a quick look back at the tent. "Where is the clitoris exactly?" Jack's smile fell and he opened his mouth. No words came out so he closed it. Nathan had no problem forming his words, though. "And what the heck is a G-spot?”

“If you want to cry go ahead. Son, there are just some time in a man's life when he has to let it out.”

“He wanted the word "Daddy" added to his list of names. He wanted to teach his son to skate, just as he'd been taught by Ernie. Like every other father in the world, he wanted to stay up late on Christmas Eve and put together tricycles, bicycles, and race-car sets. He wanted to dress up his son as a vampire, or a pirate, and take him trick-or-treating.”

“Have you ever been married?""Nope. I was close once.""You were engaged?""No, but I came close to thinking about it."She didn't believe close to thinking about it counted. "What happened?""I got a good look at her mother and ran like hell.”

“What can I give you? I get a handsome guy who does look good in the morning, and I get a great ring. What do you get?”“The only thing I’ve ever wanted.” He held her tight and smiled. “I get you, wild thing.”

“As a kid, he would have given just about anything to touch a naked Barbie, but he'd never been lucky enough to get within ogling distance. Now that he was afforded a good look at her, he discovered she had a scrawny ass and her knees made weird crunching sounds.”