“Love a man who'll bleed to make a point. (Candy)”

“Did you send candy and flowers on Valentine's Day, Wells? It's okay, you know. He was a saint.”

“I tap a Malediction out of the box, fire it up, and puff. It tastes like a tire fire in a candy factory next door to a strip club. The best cigarettes ever.”

“Thanks for treating me like, you know, a person through all this shit. I know that isn't always easy. (Stark)You do have a habit of pissing on other people's welcome mats. But, when a gentleman gives you a booty call to a massacre, it's easy to forgive. Ciao. (Candy)”

“Hell didn't make me a monster. It just confirmed all my worst fears about myself.”

“See? Even dead she makes me a better whatever-the-hell it is I am. A less stupid person. A more considerate monster.”

“Let me make sure I have this straight. The cavalry just now rode into town and it's a Czech Gypsy porn-star zombie killer. Have I got that right?”