“I plucked a ruby off the nearest plant and threw it at Hades.”

“It is," I said. "And it's not even difficult. But I need your promise on the River Styx." "What?" Dionysus cried. "You don't trust us?" "Someone once told me," I said, looking at Hades, "you should always get a solemn oath." Hades shrugged. "Guilty.”

“Hades smiled coldly. "Hello, Father. You're looking...young.""Hades," Kronos growled. "I hope you and the ladies have come to pledge your allegiance.""I'm afraid not." Hades sighed. "My son here convinced me that perhaps I should prioritize my list of enemies." He glanced at me with distaste. "As much as I dislike certain upstart demigods, it would not do for Olympus to fall. I would miss bickering with my siblings. And if there is one thing we agree on - it is that you were a TERRIBLE father.”

“The older lady harrumphed. "I warned you, daughter. This scoundrel Hades is no good. You could've married the god of doctors or the god of lawyers, but noooo. You had to eat the pomegranate.""Mother-""And get stuck in the Underworld!""Mother, please-""And here it is August, and do you come home like you're supposed to? Do you ever think about your poor lonely mother?""DEMETER!" Hades shouted. "That is enough. You are a guest in my house.""Oh, a house is it?" she said. "You call this dump a house? Make my daughter live in this dark, damp-""I told you," Hades said, grinding his teeth, "there's a war in the world above. You and Persephone are better off here with me.""Excuse me," I broke in. "But if you're going to kill me, could you just get on with it?”

“Hades raised an eyebrow. When he sat forward in his throne, shadowy faces appeared in the folds of his black robes, faces of torment,as if the garment was stitched of trapped souls from the Fields of Punishment, trying to get out. The ADHD part of me wondered, off-task, whether the rest of his clothes were made the same way. What horrible things would you have to do in your life to get woven into Hades' underwear?”

“Hades," Kronos growled. "I hope you and the ladies have come to pledge your allegiance." "I'm afraid not." Hades sighed. "My son here convinced me that perhaps I should prioritize my list of enemies." He glanced at me with distaste. "As much as I dislike certainupstart demigods, it would not do for Olympus to fall. I would miss bickering with my siblings. And if there is one thing we agree on—it is that you were a TERRIBLE father.”

“She said this in the same way you might say Fields of Punishment or Hades's gym shorts.”