“Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' on what? On fire?”

“Ugly's still ugly, no matter how you see it.""An interesting assertion. Justify it.""You bring twenty people in here," Adam told him, "and they'll all say the same thing. They'll all say you're ugly.""Bring in twenty of me," Art said, "and we'd all say your ass is prettier than your face.""There aren't twenty of you.""No, you're right. I'm unique. So I can safely say that all androids find you ugly. Not all humans find me ugly. So, technically, I'm better looking than you, using objective criteria.”

“I'll say it: I want to see an ugly woman as a spokeswoman for a women's network. Ugly men are out there all the time – look at Larry King, for God's sake. He looks like someone's talking underwear. Why not give America a spokeswoman who ain't much to look at but is competent as Hell? If accomplishments actually count for women, this ought to be a no-brainer.”

“That’s what brings in the customers: the combination of gossip and the intricate detail about the dresses, all related as drama. It has the same effect on women, I’m told, as looking at naked women has on men.”

“Some say the world will end in fire,Some say in ice.From what I've tasted of desire,I hold with those who favor fire. But if it had to perish twiceI think I know enough of hateTo say that for destruction iceIs also greatAnd would suffice.”

“Women, oh, women! They'll find the baddest meanin' in your words an' hold it up, sayin', Look what you attacked me with!”