“The little pig began to prayBut Wolfie blew his house away.He shouted, "Bacon, Pork, and Ham!Oh what a lucky wolf I am!"And though he ate the pig quite fast,He carefully kept the tail till last.”

“The wolf sniffed beneath the door to be sure this was a human cottage. The scent was undeniable. No pigs, except in bacon form. The wolf thought bacon form was a very sensible way for pigs to behave.”

“Oh... and Bacon Surprise.'REALLY? WHAT IS SO SURPRISING ABOUT BACON?'I don't know. I suppose it comes as something of a shock to the pig.”

“But Virginia, bacon is breafast. And nothing sets my nostrils twitching like bacon in the morning. Little pigs parading up and down with their curly cork screw tails... Bacon sizzling away on a iron frying pan. Baste it, roast it, toast it, nibble it, chew it, bite right through it, wobble it, gobble it, wrap it round a couple of chickens and am I ravenous!”

“He comes off a little like Practical Pig in The Three Little Pigs.”

“He's a pig and I don't allow livestock in the house.”