“Be wary of strong drink, it can make you shoot at the tax collector...and miss.”

“Being in love is like being lit on fire and having your loved one morph into a marshmallow as she runs to embrace you. But not being in love feels so much worse, possibly like being a tax collector. Actually, nothing compares to the lowliness of a tax collector.
”

“...at any time of the day, corduroy is a highly stressful fabric. Rent collectors wear it. Tax collectors, too. History teachers add leather elbow patches.”

“Then, there are the places you would rather not go-a tax collectors' convention, a sewage treatment plant, or maybe the home of someone who keeps spiders as pets and insists on taking them out of their cages and making you hold them.”

“Good heavens, no! I would not wish a British chef on anyone except the French tax collectors.”

“Shoot for the stars but if you happen to miss shoot for the moon instead.”