“Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.”

“Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother who lets him have one”

“A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.”

“There are two kinds of travel: first class and with children.”

“Central Park is the grandiose symbol of the front yard each child in New York hasn't got.”

“The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.”

“A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated.”