“If you want pay, then just be gay.”

“Let me tell you about gays in the military. I don't want any gay people hanging around me while I'm killing kids. I just don't want to see it.”

“I was hoping you weren't gay. Or that you were only half-gay. Like Paul.""Uh...sorry," I said. "It's pretty much full-time now. The pay's not great, but the perks...”

“...even if gay marriage were legalized there would still be gay men who didn't want to marry, gay men no other gay men would want to marry, and gay men who didn't want to leave the priesthood in order to marry.”

“If he’s not gay and he hung out with you the whole time, he wanted to be. It’s boyfriend or want to be boyfriend or I guess gay. Those are the choices.”

“It's too bad you're not gay. Then again, if you were gay, I would never date you. You're a mess."You know, Patrick? If I were gay, I'd want to date you."Of course.”