“And the more I started to think of our relationship as a success and less as a dysfunctional fuck-fest, I was basically like. “Yeah, sometimes I do want to punch Tegan, but 99.9 times out of 100, I don’t.”

“You cannot punch Tegan in the face, you cannot punch Tegan in the face, I kept repeating over and over in my head. It had basically been my mantra since I started here, but it was getting harder and harder to uphold.”

“I don’t want to be little again. But at the same time I do. I want to be me like I was then, and me as I am now, and me like I’ll be in the future. I want to be me and nothing but me. I want to be crazy as the moon, wild as the wind and still as the earth. I want to be every single thing it’s possible to be. I’m growing and I don’t know how to grow. I’m living but I haven’t started living yet. Sometimes I simply disappear from myself. Sometimes it’s like I’m not here in the world at all and I simply don’t exist. Sometimes I can hardly think. My head just drifts, and the visions that come seem so vivid.”

“I don’t punch walls, because walls don’t punch back. I also don’t punch things that can and do punch back.
”

“I like to think of people as roses, as they grow older, they slowly and unwillingly start giving up on life, even though they want it. I like to think of people as roses, because I think that they don’t know how lovely they could be sometimes. And that they’re meant to die, but they do their best to give pleasure to others’ eyes and hearts.”

“I don’t want to start thinking again. Not like I have this last week. I can’t think again. Not ever again.”