“You just walk over there and into the office and say, 'Hey, be my prom date,'" he said. "It's that simple.”

“Elizabeth Bennet, will you do me the great honor of not going to prom with me? ... Will you instead avoid prom with me and let me take you on a date ? ♥ - Will Darcy in Prom & Prejudice ☺”

“- Do you ever work? Or do you just walk office to office, soliciting blowjobs?- I work occasionally. It's just that the BJs are much more exciting.”

“Did you think I was helping you out of the goodness of my heart? Or am I just the only warlock you know?” (Magnus)…“No,” he said now, “but you are the only warlock we know who happens to be dating a friend of ours.” (Jace)For a moment everyone stared at him-Alec in sheer horror, Magnus un astonished anger, and Clary and Simon in surprise. It was Alec who spoke first, his voice shaking. “Why would you say something like that?”Jace looked baffled. “Something like what?”“That I‘m dating-that we‘re-its not true,” Alec said, his voice rising and dropping several octaves as he fought to control it.Jace looked at him steadily. “I didn’t say he was dating you,” he said, “but funny that you knew just what I meant, isn’t it?”“We‘re not dating,” Alec said again.“Oh?” Magnus said. “So you‘re just that friendly with everybody, is that it?”-pg.241-”

“It reminds me of that old joke- you know, a guy walks into a psychiatrist's office and says, hey doc, my brother's crazy! He thinks he's a chicken. Then the doc says, why don't you turn him in? Then the guy says, I would but I need the eggs. I guess that's how I feel about relationships. They're totally crazy, irrational, and absurd, but we keep going through it because we need the eggs.”

“Getting you a date to prom is so hard that the hypothetical idea itself is used to cut diamonds.”